Discover your SELF-WORTH

"You must not take up science in high school", "What are you going to do when you grow up?", "You better plan out your life, unless you want to waste it!", "Go for something that is safe and has guaranteed results, life is too short to be risked."

Right from a very young age, all of us are bombarded with such advises. But do you think these are just plain advises? This is how our minds understands all of this:

"Do not lead you own way, do what everyone else does, simply because you are good for nothing" , "Not knowing what to do is a bad thing", "If you do not earn enough money or status, you have failed" , "Never try something where you can fail, because if you do you certainly will."

As kids we grow up believing all of this,  although any of this is hardly true.

But why do we end up believing and doing what others think we must do? Because we do not know who we are. We look for approval from friends and family and do what they think is good or worthy. We believe if we do what everyone expects us to do they will like us and this would be the proof that we are lovable, good or worthy. Stupid isn't it? All this is subconscious so we do not notice ourselves while we act like that but if you pay some attention it will be clear to you how we keep trying to receive approval from everyone.

Here is the truth: Every human is different and unique. Our DNAs may be 99.99% same but it still holds a 0.001% variation and that enough to make a difference(there is no big or small on the scale of the universe.) as I said everyone is different, all are brought up in uniquely different ways, all go through uniquely different set of events so this simply implies that all of us think in different ways. The way we approach life and situations is different and so "the right thing to do" in any given moment differs from individual to individual. To put it straight, different people have different idea of "self-worth", but the problem is most of us hardly know who we really are let alone discovering our idea of self worth. So what to do? Like always we try talking a shortcut, we copy others or end up doing what they believe is the good/right thing to do (funny how everyone else is doing the same!) here is an example: You receive your first salary and you want to celebrate with your girlfriend, she on the other hand is a very generous person she asks you to donate a part of it to the poor but you are in no mood to do so. Just to match her expectations you cancel the movie you had planed and donate the same money, what you did was ignored yourself to be liked by others. Now one must understand that none of the people in the above example are wrong, its good to be generous and it is also fine if you aren't but what you choose to do must be in line with what you believe. Often while fulfilling expectations we end up into something that I like to call a "should-cage". 

Being trapped in a should-cage means finding yourself doing things which you don't want to do, but you think you should do. Have you taken major decisions of your life based on what you should be doing rather than  what you wanted to do?

I'll tell you about one of my should-cage: I'm a second year college student. I really enjoy studying physics but I believe college isn't my thing. I do not find it fruitful to invest my time and energy into the way they teach me, I have my own phase and style and being constantly poked on how I'm supposed to do things is a real pain. So what must I do about it? Simple answer: Quit college. But hey, slow down. Talking this major step requires me to  go against a very strong notion that has been rooted into the minds of people for a very long time i.e. You can't do anything, seriously nothing without a college degree.

[India is full of orthodox beliefs when it comes to education. Here people believe that if you take up science in high school you are left with only two career choices, the medical profession or engineering. If someone comes up with the idea of doing research then he\she is certainly an idiot, while studying science for the fun of it(something that I like to do) isn't even an option. Becoming a doctor is an expensive deal unless your grades are fantastic, so most of the students end up being engineers. India generates about 1.5 million engineers every year, this is way too more than what this nation can provide employment for. But I really wonder what these young people would have done\been if they just followed the light within their hearts, instead they allowed the society to dictate their choices, did what they should have done and not what they wanted. Result of all this, lost direction in life! ]

Anyway, so we were talking about "should-cages". Do you understand now how we place our sense of worth on the "shoulds"?  I have placed my sense of worth on an college degree, allowing it to define who I am, passing all my power and control to it. (Seriously got to fix it quickly!) Take a look into your lives, are you into any should-cages? Doing something you don't want to still finding hard to quit? If yes we must find a way to put back the power into our on hands.

 Discover your Self-worth

The best way of doing so is knowing yourself. I have just tapped into the process and there is a long way to go, but its already so much fun. Knowing who you are includes understanding the way you think and behave, getting to know what you like and dislike, taking care of your needs and the list goes on. But just knowing isn't enough, you have to love and respect yourself for all of this. Take up full responsibility of who you are and be proud of it. I know it is easy said than done, but with the right efforts we can get there. The more you begin to know who you are the less you respond to the "shoulds". Your awareness of yourself increases your self worth and you  no longer need to do what the world expects from you, because you are already good enough! This fills you with a sense of freedom like none other.  You shift to a higher level of existence where your life becomes a reflection of who you are and no longer remains a  collections of dead lifeless actions. You free yourself from being a social-robot and transform into a true Human!

As I continue my journey within, I encourage you to do the same. Take the leap towards your true self and witness the greatness that lies within.

If you wish to share anything the comment box awaits you. You can mail me if you like at 1.jerrfernandes@gmail.com

See you later with some more humble wisdom, Stay amazing!

Do what you LOVE

I am sure all of us have come across these words at some point in our lives "Do what you LOVE" Sounds so simple right?

when I take a look at the world around me I find so many people who fail to live this truth on a daily basis. Even I was one of them until the day I realised how important it was to follow my heart's voice and to do what I loved. If you are not among the people who are lucky enough to get the chance of doing what they like then do not worry, because as a part of my mission to uplift humanity's consciousness I m going to share how you can get doing what you want.

As humans, we all are driven toward unique activities or particular ways of living which are in line with our values. Rejecting that lifestyle or activity and settling for anything less(something you do not enjoy) can be like eating junk food, comfortable in the beginning but harmful to health in the long run. In fact a lot of negative emotions like stress , anger, crankiness etc. may arise by doing something you do not enjoy, after all your heart finds no joy in it. You deserve to do whatever you may choose for yourself. As Jennifer love hewitt said:
The ultimate dream in life is to be able to do what you love and learn something from it.

Now, the first thing you got to do is find out what your passion is. For some people this can be a tough job, but if you make an sincere effort I am sure you will succeed at it. Do whatever it takes to find you passion. Rise up early in the morning and meditate or talk to your family & Friends, go back to school or may be begin something new do all that you can but find "your stuff" that would give you peace and satisfaction, something you would love to do everyday it could be anything. Do not worry if it is not that realistic, you just name it.
(if you have any suggestions regarding how one can find his/her passion then feel free to share them in the comment box. For those who still face trouble finding clarity , I will soon be publishing another post on this particular topic)

Once you figure out what you want in your life things become a bit scary!
Knowing what you want to do is good, but standing against all odds and living your passion, that is what makes all the difference.
You will have to make the time and generate the resources that can help you achieve your goals. You may have to quite your existing job or may need to rise up early in the morning to practice your activity\lifestyle. Whatever it may be make necessary changes in your daily routine so that "your stuff" Can fit in.
Never continue a job you don't enjoy. If you are happy in what you're doing, you'll like yourself, you'll have inner peace.
                              - Johnny Carson

In my case there came a point when I realised that my life had been left on autopilot. I was just going through days one after the another. It felt as if the world had got control over me until the day I decided to put the power back into my hands. I started spending less time and energy toward the activities that were not important to me, on the other hand I began doing what I enjoyed more I read books, watched movies, started writing(more) , did everything that kept me grounded. You may feel its all a complete waste of time but the satisfaction I was experiencing made it clear to me that it was worth the efforts. I am now super excited by the possibility of spending every day of my life doing what I love.

You think that is not practical right?
I mean you need to make a living, You need to earn some money. Sitting back at home doing "your stuff" Wont get you anywhere right?
Wrong!
Do what you love and money will follow.
              -Marsha sinetar
Money was not the first priority for Bill Gates, but he really enjoyed writing computer programs. He just followed his passion and money followed him.

Your desire for security is taking you away from a life of satisfaction and fulfilment. One must let go of the ground to fly up in the sky.
Remember there will be hard times but do not give up, just do what your heart says and prosperity will follow. This requires a lot of courage but what fun is life without some moments of risk and suspense!

But the true reward of doing what you love lies not in the money that you may receive but in the satisfaction you experience. At the end of the day you have a smile on your face which comes from a heart that is fulfilled and at peace. You will see your world talking a U-Turn. Your energy levels will be higher than ever and you will be ever-joyful
If you do what you love, you'll never work a day in your life.
                        -Marc Anthony

Finding out what you love and going after it every day may not be that easy, but it is definitely worth it! All the very best to you, enjoy the adventure.

Go, Do what you LOVE!

Value of NEGATIVITY

Hello readers, I am really glad to write this post to you. I have written this with an intention to deliver simple wisdom about the negative situations we face in our lives, and thus help ourselves build a different perspective towards them. I hope this may help you.

Everything that you do, every action of yours provides you some experience. Throughout our day we have many experiences, we feel different emotions. These experiences can be basically divided into two, the positive ones and the negative ones. Just to put it into an example, having a cup of coffee can be a pleasant experience while finding yourself struck in the traffic is something you may like to avoid. For every situation of your life there can only be two possible outcomes, that you can feel either good or bad about it. Well you may already know all that, I mean what is so new about it?

This is exactly where we need to learn something. In reality there is nothing as such a positive or a negative situation, but just events in your life. To feel good or to feel bad about something is a decision made by you, based on the believes and ideas you have developed about your life and this world. We can understand this better by taking a look towards the world around us. When I was in school I had learned that everything in this universe is made up of atoms, atoms to be further made up of protons, electrons and neutrons. Now if you where a little more attentive in your science class you must be knowing that the proton is a positive particle while the electron is a negative one, together they cancel out each other's effect and the atom becomes neutral. What we need to know over here is that there is nothing that makes the proton to be positive or the electron to be negative, those are just tags which we have provided them for our better understanding, in reality they are just two opposite forces balancing each other. Same is with our lives where we see two opposite forces: Joy and sorrow balancing the equations. Just as both proton and electron are needed for the existence of the universe, in the same way we need both joy and sorrow for the journey of our life.

So all those people who desire to live their lives free from sufferings and problems, should probably begin to see things the way they really are. People believing that they should always be happy should realise that its impossible and even pointless to think in such a way. You do not agree to me? Ok then imagine yourself to be happy, happy all the time. Imagine yourself as a person who has never experienced any sorrow or any pain, in such a situation there wont be any change in your emotions and thus you will fail to enjoy the very feeling of happiness that you were experiencing. The point I want to make clear to you is precisely said in the words:
There is neither happiness nor
misery in the world; there is only
the comparison of one state to
another, nothing more. He who has
felt the deepest grief is best able to
experience supreme happiness. We
must have felt what it is to die,
that we may appreciate the
enjoyments of life.
           -Alexandre Dumas

You cannot fully enjoy happiness unless you taste a bit of sorrow. This reminds me of the famous poet Anne Bradstreet as she said: If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant; if we did not sometimes taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome.

Don't you think that the pain in our lives elevates the value of joy. So let us make it a point to develop a sense of respect towards the negative, as it helps is savour the positive.

Another important thing we need to know about the "tough times" of our lives is that they always come with the opportunity of growth. Do not let the pain paralyze you, instead use it to direct your energy towards creating the best out of your life. Let us not harden ourselves towards this reality of life, but accept the negative and learn from it the lessons required to live our best lives.

As we learned in this post that feeling good or bad is a choice. This means we have the power to allow any moment to cheer us up or tear us apart. Although sorrow is unavoidable in fact its necessary for our existence(reason has been discussed in this post) What I am trying to say is we hold the key towards feeling joyful and accepting every situation with a positive mindset. Even after knowing all this we are going feel hurt at times, broken down by pain and left with nothing to begin again... But its ok to feel so, after all we are humans, all we need to remember is:
Participate joyfully in the sorrows of the world. We cannot cure the world of sorrows, but we can choose to live in joy. -Joseph Campbell

what I personally believe is that everything in our lives which is not in our control is ultimately for the good. As long as we remain true to ourselves the universe supports us in every way. Some days are joyful some of them are dark and that is exactly what makes life worth living!

Live the NOW

Have you ever noticed, how we keep chasing our goals. We have always got something to be achieved. May it be preparing for your exams or grabbing that job or completing your targets, whatever it is but we are always busy "doing things". And why do we do so?
simple answer: Achieving our goals will make us happy.
That's totally correct but there is something more you need to know:
"The real value of setting and achieving goals lies not in the reward you receive but in the person you become as a result of reaching your goals  "-Robin Sharma

so as you chase your goals you are transforming yourself. Life is more like a journey and not a destination. We live in a dynamic ever changing world, where nothing is constant not even you, so enjoy the change!

we always set our joy on the things we don't have for example you would have heard people saying: I would be happy if i had that job or if i had those friends or if i had more money etc. And in doing so we forget all those amazing things we have got in our lives. As  Dale Carnegie wrote: "One of the most tragic things I know about human nature is that all of us tend to put off living. We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon instead of enjoying the roses that are blooming outside our windows today."

yes it is important to achieve your goals in your life but in order to be happy you need to live the NOW. How about taking a break in order to admire the beauty of life?
Ask yourself, which was the last time you went for a morning walk or the last time you fully enjoyed a cup of coffee or when was it that you had a deep belly laugh?
"As you walk along the fairway of life, you must smell the roses, for you only get to play one round."  -Ben hogan

If you are expecting a miracle that would magically transform your life and fill it with peace, loads of laughter and excitement, then congratulation because you are that miracle! Your life is all about how you spend your days. In order to live a life full of excitement, joy and peace you need to spend your days full of these feelings. You need to live your days fully in order to live your life fully. After all a good life is a series of well lived days.
You cannot change the past, and the future is still unknown, all you have with you is the present moment. Stop living in your past/future and live in the moment because that is all you have.

keep achieving the big goals of your life, but also enjoy the small things, and never forget to savour the journey.
Remember to live the NOW.

The first words.

Hello everyone,
My name is Jerry Fernandes. First of all I m really grateful to Blogger for providing this platform to express myself and for their exceptional service.
This blog has been started with an vision to provide simple-daily life wisdom to the readers. I really wish that this understanding may add lots of prosperity, peace and satisfaction into your life.
Thank you for reading.
Lets get started......!